So, I haven't been writing lately. That's not good. I need some form of self expression, and I can't just let everything bottle up. Not too sure what to write about, so I'm just gunna wing it.
Someone told me "any writing is good writing".
I disagree. I think good writing is good writing. That's the main reason I always ask for honest feedback. If you don't like a blog, don't beat around the bush. Just fuckin' tell me. I need to get criticized or my writing will never improve and I'll just be stuck doing this amateur bullshit forever and never get around to publishing my book.
Then the world and all my future readers will be deprived of my gift. And that's just not good for anyone. ;)
Not too much has changed in my life. Same old shit, just a different day. Still no job, no girlfriend, and no school. The Marines are slowly creeping up and that scares me. I want to leave, but I don't want to leave. Everyone is comfortable in their own environment, and after living in Orlando my entire life and never leaving Florida (except 1 time in 7th grade) I am honestly scared shitless of traveling the world. It's going to be a big step in my life, and that's what I need. We all have to grow up sometime.
Or do we?
I'm still pretty much a big little kid. In my 19 years I haven't done much maturing. Which isn't good. The Marines should fix that. I hear you gotta grow up fast in the service.
I wish I could stay a little kid forever. I want to be 7 years old without a care in the world. Hell, I'd even settle for 14 years old starting High School all over again. Those were the days.
The real world is big and scary and I don't know if I'm ready for it. Where am I going to be 5 years from now? Well, either getting out of the Marines and starting my freshman year in college, or maybe shot dead over in the Middle East. Only time can tell.
I recently read something I wrote in 9th grade when I was 14 about where I want to be in 5 years. Well it sure as hell wasn't about getting fired from Twisted Burger. I had dreams back then, big dreams. My plan was to be a freshman at Michigan State University and playing football and lacrosse for them. Now look at me. Not doin' jack shit.
At least I discovered writing. Maybe I can tighten up enough in these upcoming years to really make a career out of it. Or I can just throw it away like I've done with all my other talents.
Well, I'm pretty much done babbling on about nothing. I promise the next blog will be better, I just needed to write SOMETHING to break this dry streak.
Not writing isn't good for me. You know I'm not in a good place when I'm not writing. That's just what I think...
but then again, what do I know?
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
"And he said someday I hope you get the chance... to live like you were dying"
Life. Wow what journey. Each day is a new adventure, a new thrill. I do not understand how on earth people wake up in the morning and are upset. YOU WOKE UP! A lot of people don't wake up. I'm excited everytime I step out of bed. Even if my head is thumping at the same beat as my heart due to the excessive amount of alcohol I consumed the night before. I always enjoy waking up to a new day. Maybe that's the day I meet my future wife? Maybe that's the day I decide enough is enough and I finally get shit together, rather than just sitting here writing about it. Or maybe that's the day I die.
Live everyday like it's your last, because one day you'll be right. Savor the little things in life. The smile of your girlfriend, the smell of flowers, and beautiful picture when the sun is setting just perfect on the lake and that mesmerizing color of beautiful amber and golden orange is glowing right above the water. The best things in life really are free. And once you have these moments, you can't get them back. So savor each and every one, and get the most pleasure out of everyday that you can.
One thing I don't understand is how some people are really so angry all the time. Like, are really always that much of a bitch? Or do you just act like a bitch all the time? Some guys I just want to ask "Why are you always such a fuckin' asshole? Who pissed in your cheerios?" I really do not understand how someone can wake up and not be happy. And one thing that really pushes my buttons, is people who complain about how hard their lives are. "My mommy and daddy didn't buy me a ticket to this concert! My life sucks. I hate my job" I just feel like telling them to SHUT THE FUCK UP! A lot of people don't have mom and dad. A lot of people don't have a job. Be greatful for what you have, and stop bitching about things you don't have.
I saw a guy with no legs and a hook for one of his hands sitting outside the grocery store begging for money for food. Could you even imagine being in that situation? If anyone has a right to complain, it's him. Too many people take everyday for granted.
I've never had too much in life, but I don't complain about it. I actually use to date this girl who was a spoiled fuckin' brat that lived in Isleworth (for those of you who don't know what that is, it's a ballin' neighborhood in Windermere, Florida where susperstars like Shaquille O'Neal, Tiger Woods, and Tracy McGrady live in) and she had the nerve to complain to her parents about NEARLY EVERYTHING! And even run away from home. It's like "BITCH SHUT UP! YOU LIVE IN ISLEWORTH" I can't stand people with the nerve to do that kind of stuff. I just don't understand it.
My life growing up was never to glamorous. I lived in Dr. Phillips nearly my whole life, which is a fairly wealthy community. My parents "faked" living here because they know they could not afford it, but they wanted me to have a good upbringing. As hard as times were, I ALWAYS had a roof over my head, and I ALWAYS had food to eat. At the worst of times, we were being kicked out of or house and were going to have to live in a homeless shelter. Then, a week later, a blessing in disguise happened. As horrible as it sounds, the house I grew up in my whole life burned down. A lot of people who know me already know this story. Everyone felt bad, and was very sorry about the incident.
But God works in mysterious ways. Our insurance money covered the fire, and we now live in a brand new house built right where the old one burned down.
Another thing I'm grateful for, is how helpful the community was. My dad is a hard working man and coaches a Little League team up at the baseball fields. My mom is a Sunday school teacher at the church and a babysitter.We had our entire community behind our back in times of need. The church was helpful, paying for a hotel for us to stay at for a week. Since I grew up here pretty much my whole life, everyone I knew donated me and family something. Whether is was clothes, a gift card to Wal-Mart, food, furniture, and pretty much anything else we needed.
And you're really going to complain about your life? Try losing everything that you've ever owned and grew up with. Then come talk to me. I love my life and I'm pretty damn sure I always will. You should love yours too.
That's just what I think about life... but then again, what do I know?
Live everyday like it's your last, because one day you'll be right. Savor the little things in life. The smile of your girlfriend, the smell of flowers, and beautiful picture when the sun is setting just perfect on the lake and that mesmerizing color of beautiful amber and golden orange is glowing right above the water. The best things in life really are free. And once you have these moments, you can't get them back. So savor each and every one, and get the most pleasure out of everyday that you can.
One thing I don't understand is how some people are really so angry all the time. Like, are really always that much of a bitch? Or do you just act like a bitch all the time? Some guys I just want to ask "Why are you always such a fuckin' asshole? Who pissed in your cheerios?" I really do not understand how someone can wake up and not be happy. And one thing that really pushes my buttons, is people who complain about how hard their lives are. "My mommy and daddy didn't buy me a ticket to this concert! My life sucks. I hate my job" I just feel like telling them to SHUT THE FUCK UP! A lot of people don't have mom and dad. A lot of people don't have a job. Be greatful for what you have, and stop bitching about things you don't have.
I saw a guy with no legs and a hook for one of his hands sitting outside the grocery store begging for money for food. Could you even imagine being in that situation? If anyone has a right to complain, it's him. Too many people take everyday for granted.
I've never had too much in life, but I don't complain about it. I actually use to date this girl who was a spoiled fuckin' brat that lived in Isleworth (for those of you who don't know what that is, it's a ballin' neighborhood in Windermere, Florida where susperstars like Shaquille O'Neal, Tiger Woods, and Tracy McGrady live in) and she had the nerve to complain to her parents about NEARLY EVERYTHING! And even run away from home. It's like "BITCH SHUT UP! YOU LIVE IN ISLEWORTH" I can't stand people with the nerve to do that kind of stuff. I just don't understand it.
My life growing up was never to glamorous. I lived in Dr. Phillips nearly my whole life, which is a fairly wealthy community. My parents "faked" living here because they know they could not afford it, but they wanted me to have a good upbringing. As hard as times were, I ALWAYS had a roof over my head, and I ALWAYS had food to eat. At the worst of times, we were being kicked out of or house and were going to have to live in a homeless shelter. Then, a week later, a blessing in disguise happened. As horrible as it sounds, the house I grew up in my whole life burned down. A lot of people who know me already know this story. Everyone felt bad, and was very sorry about the incident.
But God works in mysterious ways. Our insurance money covered the fire, and we now live in a brand new house built right where the old one burned down.
Another thing I'm grateful for, is how helpful the community was. My dad is a hard working man and coaches a Little League team up at the baseball fields. My mom is a Sunday school teacher at the church and a babysitter.We had our entire community behind our back in times of need. The church was helpful, paying for a hotel for us to stay at for a week. Since I grew up here pretty much my whole life, everyone I knew donated me and family something. Whether is was clothes, a gift card to Wal-Mart, food, furniture, and pretty much anything else we needed.
And you're really going to complain about your life? Try losing everything that you've ever owned and grew up with. Then come talk to me. I love my life and I'm pretty damn sure I always will. You should love yours too.
That's just what I think about life... but then again, what do I know?
Monday, June 6, 2011
The Great Escape
Sometimes we all just need to get away from the troubles of life. I know I do anyways. I call it "my escape". You probably have one too. Everyone needs one, and their are countless different escapes. When the hail storm that is life is pouring down tennis ball size pieces of ice on you, you can always take shelter in your escape. I have a few different escapes, and each really gives me that calm in the storm. Some people lock their bedroom door, put their iPod in, and jam away. I have a friend who likes to drive around for 30 or 40 mins with music blasting in his car. Some run to their boyfriend/girlfriend for comfort... although sometimes, they can be reason you need to get away. Others will turn to drugs and alcohol. If you had a shitty day at work or school, you can always go home and drink yourself into a mindless drunken state. That always helps numb the pain. I'm sure it's healthy too, right?
My favorite escape is the weight room. I love lifting weights. And you know what the greatest part about being in the weight room is? As soon as you step into the gym, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS! I mean NOTHING! That's what I truly love about my escape. It doesn't matter if my girlfriend just dumped me today. It doesn't matter if I just got kicked out of my house. It doesn't matter if I got fired from job, or if I just got hired at a new job. When my household gets too hectic, and I just can't handle all of the family fighting and yelling at each other, I strap up my ankle brace, throw a wife-beater on, turn up Wiz Khalifa on my iPod, and haul ass up to the gym. I love it. I can not stress how great it is to get away from all your troubles. I never let anything that happened that day affect my workout. Nothing matters as soon as I grab those weights. Just me, and cold steel. All that matters is that I pump out this next set. Go harder and try to get that 1 extra rep. Feeling that burn in my muscles (oh it hurts so good) and fighting through the pain to finish that set. NOTHING is more satisfying than when I barely pump out that last rep, and rack the bar back up, knowing I just gave my all. That feeling is border-line orgasmic.
Then, I leave the gym and start walking home... and reality sets in. I have to go back to this shitty "real world" where murderers, drugs, abusive parents, and other people exist. It's not just me and weights anymore.
In high school my escape was playing Lacrosse. As soon as I discovered the sport, I fell in love with it. I felt like it made everything more simple. When I tied up my cleats and set foot on the field, all that mattered was trying to put the ball in the back of the net. It did not matter if I skipped school that day, if I failed my exam, or if I got a 100% on my test. If my teachers were being assholes, or if I got detention for being late. All of that stuff went out the window as soon as I stepped foot on the Lacrosse field. Just me and my team-mates against the other team... What a great feeling!
What's your escape?
I think it's good for you to escape from reality every once in a while... but then again, what do I know?
My favorite escape is the weight room. I love lifting weights. And you know what the greatest part about being in the weight room is? As soon as you step into the gym, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS! I mean NOTHING! That's what I truly love about my escape. It doesn't matter if my girlfriend just dumped me today. It doesn't matter if I just got kicked out of my house. It doesn't matter if I got fired from job, or if I just got hired at a new job. When my household gets too hectic, and I just can't handle all of the family fighting and yelling at each other, I strap up my ankle brace, throw a wife-beater on, turn up Wiz Khalifa on my iPod, and haul ass up to the gym. I love it. I can not stress how great it is to get away from all your troubles. I never let anything that happened that day affect my workout. Nothing matters as soon as I grab those weights. Just me, and cold steel. All that matters is that I pump out this next set. Go harder and try to get that 1 extra rep. Feeling that burn in my muscles (oh it hurts so good) and fighting through the pain to finish that set. NOTHING is more satisfying than when I barely pump out that last rep, and rack the bar back up, knowing I just gave my all. That feeling is border-line orgasmic.
Then, I leave the gym and start walking home... and reality sets in. I have to go back to this shitty "real world" where murderers, drugs, abusive parents, and other people exist. It's not just me and weights anymore.
In high school my escape was playing Lacrosse. As soon as I discovered the sport, I fell in love with it. I felt like it made everything more simple. When I tied up my cleats and set foot on the field, all that mattered was trying to put the ball in the back of the net. It did not matter if I skipped school that day, if I failed my exam, or if I got a 100% on my test. If my teachers were being assholes, or if I got detention for being late. All of that stuff went out the window as soon as I stepped foot on the Lacrosse field. Just me and my team-mates against the other team... What a great feeling!
What's your escape?
I think it's good for you to escape from reality every once in a while... but then again, what do I know?
Friday, June 3, 2011
To School for Cool
My 4 years at Dr. Phillips High School were the best years of my life. Or at least they should've been. All these old people claim "Youth is wasted on the young". I agree.
Not trying to sound all old and wise, but I would give anything... and I mean ANYTHING to go back to the beginning of my freshman year and do it all over again. A lot of people said that they wouldn't change a thing. I call bullshit. I would change nearly EVERYTHING. Now don't get me wrong, I really did enjoy school (whenever I actually went) but if I could go back knowing what I know now, you have no idea how much fun I would have.
First off, I would rarely skip class. As compared to my senior/junior year, were I would rarely go to class. I would befriend all of my teachers, instead of being some smartass clown and pissing off most my teachers. Yes sir/Yes ma'am, No sir/No ma'am, and please/thank you will get you a long way in life. Who you know can sometimes help you out A LOT more than what you know. I would have stayed in my gifted/honors classes rather than switching into normal classes where I didn't have to challenge myself.
The social aspect of high school is what I miss the most. If I could go back I would try to be friends with nearly everyone I met. I would also be a lot kinder to girls. You never know who's going to be able to help you out in the long run. That little nerd you use to pick on may be the your future boss. That kid you would never let play basketball with you guys in gym class may be the next president of the United States for all you know. Always be nice to people. You never know what they're going through or what's happening to them. They may be mentally unstable, maybe their parents are getting a divorce, maybe their parents beat them, maybe they just got diagnosed with cancer. YOU NEVER KNOW. Maybe because you helped that little lonely kid pick up his books that some asshole knocked out of his hands is the reason he doesn't come shoot up the school the next day.
As cleshay as it sounds, until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes, you can not judge them. Everyone has their faults, everyone has their own problems.
Their are millionaires who commit suicide. Their are people living in 1 bedroom trailers that are happy as can be. Once you truly have inner peace, you will be happy regardless of your material possessions.
One last thing about high school. I would have tried much harder in sports. I was always physically gifted and was pretty much good at anything with a ball. Looking back on it, if I wasn't such a dick to all my coaches, and actually played up to my potential, I would probably have a lot more connections in the sporting world and hopefully be playing in college right now. But nope, I'm sitting at my computer writing about what could have been.
I miss high school more than you could imagine. If only I could go back...
That's just what I think about high school... but then again, what do I know?
Not trying to sound all old and wise, but I would give anything... and I mean ANYTHING to go back to the beginning of my freshman year and do it all over again. A lot of people said that they wouldn't change a thing. I call bullshit. I would change nearly EVERYTHING. Now don't get me wrong, I really did enjoy school (whenever I actually went) but if I could go back knowing what I know now, you have no idea how much fun I would have.
First off, I would rarely skip class. As compared to my senior/junior year, were I would rarely go to class. I would befriend all of my teachers, instead of being some smartass clown and pissing off most my teachers. Yes sir/Yes ma'am, No sir/No ma'am, and please/thank you will get you a long way in life. Who you know can sometimes help you out A LOT more than what you know. I would have stayed in my gifted/honors classes rather than switching into normal classes where I didn't have to challenge myself.
The social aspect of high school is what I miss the most. If I could go back I would try to be friends with nearly everyone I met. I would also be a lot kinder to girls. You never know who's going to be able to help you out in the long run. That little nerd you use to pick on may be the your future boss. That kid you would never let play basketball with you guys in gym class may be the next president of the United States for all you know. Always be nice to people. You never know what they're going through or what's happening to them. They may be mentally unstable, maybe their parents are getting a divorce, maybe their parents beat them, maybe they just got diagnosed with cancer. YOU NEVER KNOW. Maybe because you helped that little lonely kid pick up his books that some asshole knocked out of his hands is the reason he doesn't come shoot up the school the next day.
As cleshay as it sounds, until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes, you can not judge them. Everyone has their faults, everyone has their own problems.
Their are millionaires who commit suicide. Their are people living in 1 bedroom trailers that are happy as can be. Once you truly have inner peace, you will be happy regardless of your material possessions.
One last thing about high school. I would have tried much harder in sports. I was always physically gifted and was pretty much good at anything with a ball. Looking back on it, if I wasn't such a dick to all my coaches, and actually played up to my potential, I would probably have a lot more connections in the sporting world and hopefully be playing in college right now. But nope, I'm sitting at my computer writing about what could have been.
I miss high school more than you could imagine. If only I could go back...
That's just what I think about high school... but then again, what do I know?
The 5 W's: Who? What? Where? When? and Women?
So this is my first blog post. Not too sure what to write about, so I thought I'd pick an easy topic. Women. Which ironically, is actually the hardest topic in most guy's opinions.
So, I like to think that over the years I've learned quite a bit about women. Then reality slaps me in the face and I come to realize that I've learned nothing. I currently have no girlfriend, which I am ok with... for now anyways. I mean who after-all, who wouldn't wanna date an alcoholic/drug addict that barely graduated high school, doesn't have a job, and sleeps in his parents garage? I mean I know it sounds like I'm all that and a bag of chips, but trust me, this lifestyle is not as glamorous as it sounds. Now don't get me wrong, I've had a girlfriend before. A couple really good ones actually. But I've always managed to slam the book shut on every romantic chapter of my life. Not just slam the book shut, but rip out the pages, burn 'em, and flush the ashes down the toilet. Yes, that is exactly how bad I screwed up the relationship I had with the greatest girlfriend I could ever ask for.
So back to the main subject, women. As I've said, as soon as you think you got 'em figured out, you realize you know nothing. I like to give myself the excuse that "They're all just crazy bitches" which does apply to some, but not all. I like to think that's just an excuse that asshole's make when they screw up things with a really great girl. Well maybe I am just an asshole? Who knows. Which brings me to my next point...
Girls like assholes. I use to always try and be "the nice guy" which would workout for some girls, but not too many. Then (I believe it was about halfway through my sophomore year in high school) I decided to start being an asshole to girls. Consequently, I started gettin' laid more often. But I felt like something was missing. The girls who liked it when I was an asshole would ACT like they didn't like me when they were around their friends at school, parties, etc. But deep down inside them, they really wanted me deep down inside them ;)
But all jokes aside, I really did not have any genuine healthy relationships. Now don't get me wrong, having sex was great. Especially when you're a dumb young high school kid. But what I always really wanted was to have a long term relationship with a girl who really liked me for who I was, and not for what material possessions I had, how I looked, or how I acted when I would put on that stupid "asshole" front. But a girl who liked me for me. Someone you can just lay around and talk to for hours. Not having to drink or get high. She would be my drug. I literally could get high off her love. I actually had a girl like that, but as I've mentioned, I always screw up anything good in my life. Then something hit me... I finally realized what the problem was.
No girl liked me for who I was, because I WAS A FUCKING ASSHOLE who tried to stick his dick in anything with two legs and tits. I like to think I've changed, but I'm not sure if I really have. Girls still confuse me. Another thing I've learned is that GIRLS like assholes, GROWN WOMEN like gentlemen. I like to think that at 19 years old, I'm more of a gentlemen than I've ever been before. But I really do not know how much truth there is to that.
Well, I'm not exactly sure how long blogs are suppose to be, but I feel like I've written enough, and YOU have definitely read enough. Feedback will be greatly appreciated! Especially from any females who read this. I will read everyone's opinion who writes back and give you a response. I am always up for a good argument/debate as well, so argue away if you have something to say about me.
This was my opinion on women...but then again, what do I know?
So, I like to think that over the years I've learned quite a bit about women. Then reality slaps me in the face and I come to realize that I've learned nothing. I currently have no girlfriend, which I am ok with... for now anyways. I mean who after-all, who wouldn't wanna date an alcoholic/drug addict that barely graduated high school, doesn't have a job, and sleeps in his parents garage? I mean I know it sounds like I'm all that and a bag of chips, but trust me, this lifestyle is not as glamorous as it sounds. Now don't get me wrong, I've had a girlfriend before. A couple really good ones actually. But I've always managed to slam the book shut on every romantic chapter of my life. Not just slam the book shut, but rip out the pages, burn 'em, and flush the ashes down the toilet. Yes, that is exactly how bad I screwed up the relationship I had with the greatest girlfriend I could ever ask for.
So back to the main subject, women. As I've said, as soon as you think you got 'em figured out, you realize you know nothing. I like to give myself the excuse that "They're all just crazy bitches" which does apply to some, but not all. I like to think that's just an excuse that asshole's make when they screw up things with a really great girl. Well maybe I am just an asshole? Who knows. Which brings me to my next point...
Girls like assholes. I use to always try and be "the nice guy" which would workout for some girls, but not too many. Then (I believe it was about halfway through my sophomore year in high school) I decided to start being an asshole to girls. Consequently, I started gettin' laid more often. But I felt like something was missing. The girls who liked it when I was an asshole would ACT like they didn't like me when they were around their friends at school, parties, etc. But deep down inside them, they really wanted me deep down inside them ;)
But all jokes aside, I really did not have any genuine healthy relationships. Now don't get me wrong, having sex was great. Especially when you're a dumb young high school kid. But what I always really wanted was to have a long term relationship with a girl who really liked me for who I was, and not for what material possessions I had, how I looked, or how I acted when I would put on that stupid "asshole" front. But a girl who liked me for me. Someone you can just lay around and talk to for hours. Not having to drink or get high. She would be my drug. I literally could get high off her love. I actually had a girl like that, but as I've mentioned, I always screw up anything good in my life. Then something hit me... I finally realized what the problem was.
No girl liked me for who I was, because I WAS A FUCKING ASSHOLE who tried to stick his dick in anything with two legs and tits. I like to think I've changed, but I'm not sure if I really have. Girls still confuse me. Another thing I've learned is that GIRLS like assholes, GROWN WOMEN like gentlemen. I like to think that at 19 years old, I'm more of a gentlemen than I've ever been before. But I really do not know how much truth there is to that.
Well, I'm not exactly sure how long blogs are suppose to be, but I feel like I've written enough, and YOU have definitely read enough. Feedback will be greatly appreciated! Especially from any females who read this. I will read everyone's opinion who writes back and give you a response. I am always up for a good argument/debate as well, so argue away if you have something to say about me.
This was my opinion on women...but then again, what do I know?
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